Header Art: “Prelude to a Kiss” By Josephine Wall
The question of Love is twice as tricky when romantic love is in question. Romantic love is one of the most compelling temporary forces on the Planet. Romantic love doesn’t last, it’s a time-release phenomena. Blasphemy?! Romantic love borrows it authenticity from True Love, but adds an intoxicating mix of the body’s neuro-chemical imperatives. We also share life-force with a romantic partner, which creates a union that hurts to separate.
Our Spirit’s adventure on this planet comes through inhabiting a system of tubes covered with meat and skin that we call our body. We are ruthlessly wired to our body’s external perceptions and it’s internal chemistry. When we don’t have enough to eat, our bodies have a feedback mechanism called hunger that loudly proclaims its needs to us. We have feedback mechanisms for thirst, cold, physical pain, and all the needs of the body.
You might have noticed that sex is one of those needs of the body. And sex goes beyond the act itself as the body has inherited the biological and evolutionary instincts for procreation and child rearing that perpetuates our species. Our internal feedback system of neuro-chemical feedback rewards and motivates our mating responses. It pushes us to come together, make babies, and stay attached to one another long enough for those babies to grow up a bit. Then it lets us go.
Of course, our Real-Love-Nature underlies our romantic connection and our love isn’t 100% illusion, but when it is mixed up with our body’s responses, we can be confused and, in the end, hurt. Next, our Love gets mixed up with our system of Life Force Energy. Our “Energy Body” bridges the spectrum between our physical bodies and our Inner Spirit. When we feel choked up with emotion, that’s the energy center in the throat. When we feel compassion in the center of our chests, that’s the energy center of the Heart. When we have a sickening feeling of disgust in our belly, that’s also an energy center (chakra) that we’re feeling.
We get life force through our food, our breathing, and from Spirit Itself. Our Life-Force-Body reflects the totality of who we are as individuals. We can sense the energy body of those we meet on an intuitive level, consciously or unconsciously. Sometime we just feel good or bad about somebody just from his or her vibration.
Energy is like electricity; it flows from one polarity to another. We each express many levels and flavors of energy. There are also flavors of energy that we don’t express as much. When our energy compliments the energy of another, the power flows back and forth and we call it “Chemistry.” Energy chemistry can draw us to people whose attitudes and lifestyle don’t otherwise suit us. As we spend time with people, we share energy with them. The more intimate we are with them, the more of their energy we share. At some time, our energy becomes so intertwined with our partner’s that the energy gets equalized and the flow isn’t as powerful anymore. We feel like we lost our “magic.”
Romantic love sometimes ends in separation. Perhaps one partner leaves to seek new magic. The abandoned one is used to having the partner’s energy to feel complete. They are wired to a circuit that’s now incomplete. It takes time to heal the energetic wound and learn to live on our own energy alone once again. It hurts. Don’t seek a magic cure, it heals with time and returning to your Real Self.
How could that intoxicating love that seemed so real abandon you and negate your very worth? How could you have loved one who now seems so vulgar and distant? The romantic-love-drug wears off. The magic chemistry fades. Our egos take the defensive. Denial and anger eclipse what beauty was shared.
If you have developed a Real Love that’s beyond the love-drug-chemistry, then you have a Real Relationship. If you don’t, you are left empty, disappointed, and finally angry. Romantic Love borrows its reality from the Love that We Are in our Hearts but becomes stupefied in our egos and the body’s sexual-feedback-soup of desire, need, and instinct.
These many levels of communion and interaction in relationship are a part of life. I’m not condemning them. Just don’t lose the Center of your Inner Self and think that Love is outside you. You are an Ocean of Love and nobody can take that away.
Romantic love evokes the high and noble sweetness of drowning oneself in the sea of union, and yet comes crashing down on the hard shores of our individual insecurity, vulnerability, and self-image. Of course, our egos receive a brutal beating in attempting to feel good about ourselves in all our relationships with other confused humans. The humans at home, at work, and in the street tend to live in their own inner worlds and fail to love us properly. The power of the Love we’ve lost within ourselves makes the pain of losing imaginary love feel real and devastating. So we blame love for our pain.
We numb ourselves from caring to protect ourselves from further hurt. The pain we think love is causing us is actually our ego-identity suffering it’s attachments, fears, and insecurities. Don’t blame love.
You can never make a phony idea of yourself into the Real You. The imagined self can never receive enough love because it is based on illusions. It can never really ‘be loved’ even by you, because it’s just a collection of ideas, concepts, imaginations, revised history, and mental ramblings. It can’t “feel’ the love, only imagine it. You are not the collections of thoughts that you think you are. The Real You is Love itself; go BE.
Please don’t think that I’m saying that you don’t love your family or your spouse. Our Pure Awareness is always illumining our experience and our Pure Love is always at the center of our Being. Consciously or unconsciously, we experience the Peace and Love of our Real Nature to the extent that we’re not consumed by our attachments and mental/emotional chatter.
As long as you think you are such and such a person, with a particular set of good and bad qualities, who is seeking something called love in the responses of other confused humans, you are asking for drama and disappointment. We live in-between confused love and Real Love. Most of us have a taste of each. Coming home to True Love is our spiritual path.
Until we get Real with Ourselves, love will always contain illusions and pain. Return to your Center in the Here and Now. You will discover that Love is an inseparable expression of your very Being. Love can never leave you. You will taste its sweetness in every moment, with every person.
Real happiness is celebrated in the communion of Love. It is experienced full of Life and Heartfelt Presence. It happens when you open your Essential Being from your heart to the Heart of another. You experience the Love and it cannot be taken from you. It still nurtures and uplifts you even if the receiver isn’t capable of understanding it. You give it without condition because it is who you Are. Everyone looks perfect and enlightened to an Enlightened Heart. Every person harbors an infinite potential of Peace and Love. If you speak to that Inner Spirit in someone, it brings out the best in them. Know yourself, Free your Love. Let go of your pain.
I wish you All the Love in the World.